On Oceans of Blue

perhpas im silly
believing in us
i saw the wreck
up ahead
they broke
then they broke
and they stay broke
but i held hope
maybe we woulnt break
wed be the exception
in a broken day
familyless day
i still trusted
the story of pumkins
perhaps im foolish
i refused the signs
everyone is broken
i dreamt we wouldnt
here i am
square one
i called you from here
my favorite
most common at least
place in the world

she rises again
she believes again
cinderella tomorrow
jus plain ole aly today

[A/N] written early november 08

lets have love
lets give everything
to gain each other
to have everything
lets give it all

lets have life
lets create something
to know each other
to have something
lets create it all

lets have laugh
lets say anything
to enjoy each other
to have anything
lets say it all

lets make it
through the strom
through the drought
through it all
please love please lets make it

[A/N] written early november 08

i regret my lack of regret
remorse my lack of remorse
despise my lack of disgust
no longer do morals rule
or do values reign
i simply take
at others expense
not a care or a feeling
ive turned cold
like stone
like slate
echos cracking
and shattered
falling to pieces
with lessons learned
the slight pang
of lack of guilt
stings through a crack
but quickly
its stomped out
without a thought
like the last candle
of the night
beaten with a licked thumb
smolders for a moment
silent almost invisible rememberance
of past flame
warmth and light

[A/N] written early november 08

are we destined to fight
the wars of out fathers
are are we truly blazing
our own trails
go west
for the gold, the women, and the land
be new
be inspired
but our fathers went west
for gold, women, and land
our fathers found freedom
in the new
in the inspiration
so are we destined
are we ever new
do we ever shake
the demons our fathers fought
and fought for
truly gold women and land
are demons
again we fight our fathers wars
we take our fathers guns
we saddle our fathers horses
we learn from our history
and perpetually
eternally
insignificantly
fight our fathers wars

[A/N] written mid november 08

in blood or tears
how do i do this without you
with a blade
the pain drains
falls to the ground
in deep red stains
scars healed yet
dripping still today
with tears
drain all the salt
pour all the pains
sting like the rain
mixed with the acid
and pollution
and shame

[A/N] written mid november 08

i put on all the make up
i put on my face
to cover up the scars
to cover all the pain
but when im gone
from watchful eyes
i take my mask from its place
make up isnt freedom
make up isnt grace

[A/N] written mid november 08

ive risked
i was afraid not to
ive made mistakes
i was afraid to miss out
ive been burned
ive been hurt
ive been played
ive been tossed around
like an old raggedy ann doll
dirty and torn
ripped and destroyed
because i risked
because i was afraid not to
now the time comes
a risk on my horizon
a new choice
a new hope
but i hesitate
i am not raggedy ann
i am finding myself
reinforcing myself
building my walls
raising my army
recreating my life
my sense of self
my everything
because im afraid not to

[A/N] written  mid november 08