On Oceans of Blue

so the past really does haunt
it really does follow me around
like a ghost who refuses to die
sometimes more opaque
sometimes fairly translucent
but always there
always trailing
only a foot or so behind
and when i think
im over it
its gone
ill never deal with him again
ill never hear his voice
or see his face
or feel his pain
there he is
when i look in the mirror
he stares at me
over my shoulder
wondering why i abandon the past
why i so forcefully push forward
i am not running
but why wont my past leave me alone?
why am i haunted?
why am i burned?
why do i look in the mirror
and see him?
why cant i leave it all behind
when its all so far
yet all so close
and when i shut the door
it knocks
and the dog barks
and then he bangs the door
and i open it a little more
and hes still there
waiting to haunt
wanting to follow
wishing he were present not past
and since hes past
hell follow my present
why!?!?
why am i haunted?
i jus want to be left alone…

i wanna write bout you, babe
i wanna give you a great love poem
but for some reason i cant
i cant squeeze it out
i cant coax it out
i cant shove it out
i cant convince it out
it simply wont come
i dont know what to tell you
ive told you all
its all been said
i could say it all again
for reminder purposes
but it seems silly to list
fill it in and youre mostly ok
i  ____ you
simply avoid things like
"hate" and "destroy" and "control"
and thats it right there
the entire poem
in jus a few words
i  ____ you
im no whitman
and im certainly no poe
maybe thats why im blocked so often
but its ok i think
cus you know
youve always known
and i hope youll always know
i  ____ you, babe
maybe its not a real love poem
maybe it wont be read forever
generation to generation
but its the truth
thats all that matters
me and you and the truth
i  ____ you

oh does this feel better
oh so much better
a peace
a release
a this-is-finally-ok

amongst the turmoil
amid the rain
in the center of it all
in the eye
i remain

i cannot control the storm
i cannot foresee the next clap of thunder
i can walk on the water though
if i simply believe

oh this is infinately better
this peace
this release
i lay it all at Your feet
the boulder
off my shoulder
is gone

thank you

anywhere but nineveh
why do i travel that road?
i know of the wale
ive been there before
yet i travel the road away from rome
and away from nineveh

i make an effort
to get back on track
sit under a tree
and contemplate the struggles ahead
i make an effort
to be the strong one
to prevail
i fail

away from nineveh
away from rome i go
i dont wanna go on
and i dont wanna go home
why do i travel that road?

all my attempts get lost in a wave
swept by my own foolishness
my own selfishness
eroding the supplies i packed
for nineveh
thats what i get for packing on my own

all my attempts are washed aside
til i cry for help
til i cry for strength
til i cry for You, Lord
why i dont i cry for You, Lord?
now i am crying for You, Lord
not my will but Yours

move my feet towards nineveh, Lord
move my feet towards You
gather my supplies
strengthen my weaknesses
test my strenghts
make me Yours
take me to nineveh
then take me home

one day down
a lifetime to go
I cannot do this alone
I need His power

No man will be able to stand against you. The LORD your God, as he promised you, will put the terror and fear of you on the whole land, wherever you go.
Deuteronomy 11:25

one day down
a million more to go
I cannot do this alone
I will go crazy
I need His love

The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin.
Exodus 34:6-7

one day down
million lessons to go
I cannot do this alone
I will go crazy
I will fail
I need His help

O LORD my God, I called to you for help and you healed me.
O LORD, you brought me up from the grave; you spared me from going down into the pit.
Psalm 30:2-3

one day down
so much more to go
I cannot do this alone
I will go crazy
I will fail
I need His salvation
His help
His love
His power

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
II Timothy 1:7

The LORD is my strength and my song;
he has become my salvation.
He is my God, and I will praise him,
my father’s God, and I will exalt him
Exodus 15:2

hello to a heart so dear
hello to a love
brought about in fear
hello to a breaking of walls
hello to a joy
brought about from the fall
hello to a cross stained in blood
hello to a peace
brought about with a flood
hello to a forever so true
hello to a hope
brought about for me and you
hello truth
hello real love
hello faith
pure as the dove
hello life
hello honesty
hello Father
together for all eternity

life is simple*

life is hard

life is a trek through the mud

life is tough

life is real

life is a metaphor

life is a reflection in a mirror*

life is continuous

a chasing after the wind**

a cycle

a repetition

but life ends

life is death

die and you are truly alive at last

* Not Really. It should be. If stuff is going on than it doesn’t seem simple. but it should. My point is Keep it simple

* 1 Corinthians 13:2; Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

* um… Ecclesiastes again. lol. sorry.. i can’t remember exact verses… just read the whole book, its good stuff.

[A/N] So yea. Life is SLOW for me right now. Hurry up!!!!! gah. lol. see previous post.. >_<!! =X but yea no seriously, Life is treating me alright. Idk. I myself am pretty neutral right now.. (it’s probably because I’m sleepy, haha) we’ll see what happens, if anything happens, which it probably won’t. There is nothing new in my life and i’m sorta bored with it..

and that’s all for now folks, i’m goin ta bed. ^_^ g’night ~.~

gone are the high school days
gone are the days of old
gone are the childish plays
gone are the mysteries untold

gone are the stories of history
gone are the stories of love
gone are childhood mysteries
gone are the big barney hugs

welcome the new life
welcome adulthood
welcome cleaning garages
welcome living the way we should

welcome responsibility
welcome all that entails
farewell to history
farewell to romantic tales

i am not a "first year" writer
i am not a beginner
you are the most discouraging
most narrow minded
"writing" teacher
i have ever encountered
i have been writing
longer than you have been teaching
i have been reading
as long as ive had the mind capacity
you stupid *****
when im rich and famous
–for my writings–
i do plan to thank you
"id like to thank my junior english teacher in high school
for her inspiration
i would not be able to write at all
without her encouragement
and id like to thank my freshman english teacher in college
for her hardening
i would not be able to write the cold satirical pieces
without her discouragement"
HA!
you and your high horse!
i hope your hand cripples
and your mind withers
i hope you back hunches
and your thoughts scramble
i hope you loose your sanity
i hope you are examined and studied
and written about
as a unique case of crazies
but i hope your awake enough
to see my face on the TV
and hear my voice on the radio
and read my name at Borders
and recognize me for that "some potential"
you knocked out all those years prior
i will not allow your prejudice
to cramp my dreams in a bottle
i will not be stiffened or silenced
due to your lack of competence
i will write
i will read
i will love it
i will enjoy life as a writer
as a novelist
as a common household name
considered a great writer of the times
so **** you
and **** your views
ill give in and write in your style
but i wont feel it
i wont shine through it
and i will not bleed any more ink
until your class is over
part of the deal though,
dont corrupt me to the point
that my personal writing style is gone and absent
thanks a million

[A/N] this was written before "you make me sad" but its about the same person -_- "you make me sad" is the nicer one. this one isnt how i feel any more bout her but this is the "almost sorta complete works of aly fayth" so… sorry for the vulgarity and the violence, guys… it was jus passing anger :/

be my connection
turn my tears to peace
hold my fears
be my release
shelter in the storm
stay true
stay solid
stay in Godly form

be my connection
turn my sorrows to joy
save my tomorrows
your love employ
armor in the fight
stay steel
stay hard
stay in His eyes right

be my connection
be my love
be my truth
be His
so you can be mine
and i can be yours